Thursday, July 24, 2008

falling out of love.

I don't think things are as pretty anymore now that I'm not in love. You know what I'm talking about -- stuff that suddenly seems infinite and more full of wonder when your heart is full and warm of the romantic type of my favorite four-letter word? Views from a moonroof. Kind gentlemen gestures. The glow of a car stereo on skin. It just isn't the same when your heart's not invested. Since I became a gimp again (yeah, busted ankle!), a lot of men have held open doors. And while I appreciate the gesture, it seems so much more tender when the person you're sleeping with does it.

Maybe I grew a little hard in these last two months. I don't know. But I certainly know that absence definitely doesn't make the heart grow fonder, and Jeff Tweedy is brilliant for singing "distance has no way of making love understandable." It doesn't. It just makes it hurt more.

There are advantages and disadvantages to both sides: in love and not. And in the end, I'm just thankful to have loved enough to know the difference.

1 comment:

Nicole said...

i agree with this post. for a while, beautiful things actually made me feel worse, and sometimes they still do.

i feel like i lost so much when i left iup too. i'm still trying to get used to that. and the idea that college is over.

i'm starting to accept the feelings or void of feelings that goes with being alone or "falling out of love though." but accepting doesn't always make them easier to feel.